Sunday, January 23, 2011

An Open Letter to the New York Jets

Dear Jets,

Well, we've had our good times, we've had our bad times. My team was apparently having tea while the Green Bay Packers snuck off to the Superbowl. Your conditioning coach thought it was acceptable to trip someone and pretend like he was totally just bringing his knee up, probably dancing to the song "She's a Maniac", or perhaps he confused you guys with the wrong Jets and was trying to intimidate the rivals through a song-and-dance routine.

But come. Let us move on from the bad times, and hope for the future.

Because I swear, if you lose and subject the world to a Packers/Steelers Superbowl, I will do this.

That's right. Because no amount of arachnophobia will prevent me from mutating a spider and sending it into Florham Park.

Make your choice.

Love, Erica

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