Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Julian Assange-Master of Irony

Julian's really cracking me up now. In this article, it appears he has pulled out all of the usual arguments against being arrested, stopping short of "Don't arrest me I'm pathetic". Let us discuss all of Julian's ways of trying to resist arrest, which would normally have cops tasing you and possibly kicking down your door anywhere else.

Firstly, Assange's lawyer (the Mouth of Julian?) believes a prosecutor "acted against the laws of confidentiality, telling one of our tabloid newspapers that Julian was suspected of rape." I can see the conversation now.

Hurtig: You told newspapers that Julian was suspected of rape! That badly violates laws of confidentiality!
*everyone stares during a long, awkward pause*
Hurtig: Ermm...I mean, laws regarding...umm...Oh, look at the time!

So after accidentally heaping coals of irony upon their own heads, yet another lawyer complains that the prosecutor should have let Julian give his own story in full before issuing an arrest warrant. Apart from the fact that apparently Julian wasn't answering his phone for days, not even for poor lil' Hurtig, most police don't really require you to explain exactly where you were during the crime, before they actually arrest you. If they believe they have evidence enough, they arrest you, and then you tell it to the judge.

Finally, Julian makes one final bid, one which is so silly it sounds like something Ed Reyes would come up with. See, Julian is just so afraid that he could be extradited from Sweden and sent to live in Gitmo.

Umm...why would he be sent to Gitmo? Do we send other rapists to Gitmo? No. We send terrorists to Gitmo.

Oh wait, he's also arguing that this rape case is really all about Wikileaks and a violation...of...confidentiality....



So, after all this, Julian has had to sit in a court hearing and give his side of the story and all that after all. And now he's forced, poor thing, to stay in an English mansion with nothing better to do than be interviewed by the media and sign a 1.5 million book deal.

Poor, poor Julian.