Friday, February 17, 2012

Marble Hornets: Season 3 Predictions

I was going to post another book review, but having just finished rewatching the series so far, I feel I should post my predictions for what Season 3 has in store.

With the onslaught of tweets from our somewhat herp-derp narrator, I feel that Season 3 is nearly upon us. Therefore, I am going to post my predictions on the ending, similar to what I did for Harry Potter. Except, in reading Harry Potter, I had a decent idea of what was going on, what the villains wanted, and the goals of the minor characters. Here, I have little idea what is happening, beyond Jay breaking into more buildings, we still haven’t the foggiest why the Operator likes to stalk/annoy college students, and Tim’s activities seem limited to either A.) Smoking cigarettes or B.) Stalking Jay while wearing a theater mask and making bizarre videos that convey basically nothing. My predictions may be a bit hazy and off the mark.

First off, I believe the next set of tweets we get from Jay will be something like the following:

“Going to try and look around the antique store some more.”

“A lot of this stuff in here looks like Alex’s things.”

“Felt something hit me on the head. Woke up in this dark place. Don’t know where I am.”

“Heard an engine start up. Sounds like that delivery truck driver is laughing.”

“We’ve been driving for a while. Wish I could see something. *twit pic of darkness*”

“I hear banjo music.”

Jay escapes via running away really fast, and finds they were only a few minutes from his hotel, and that Trucky had really been doing donuts in a parking lot the whole time while listening to bluegrass. He finds that his laptop has been messed with, and that a video had been posted while he was away. The video is a full six minutes of Tim smoking.

After several more days of posting to his public Twitter about trying to stalk Tim, Jay gets the bright idea to follow a trail of cigarette butts into Rosswood Park, not realizing Trucky is following him. He finds Tim smoking cigarettes in the Tunnel of Doom, and he tries to ask him what the thing with the stalking and the mask is about. But then Trucky arrives! He takes Tim’s cigarettes, but before he can do much else, falls into an acute angle and disappears through time. It is then Jay realizes how much Trucky resembles Beardy. At this point Tim whips out his mask, dons it, utters some cryptic phrase, and dashes off.

Jay decides to spend some more time stalking Tim and talking about it on his Twitter, until finally Tim signs up for a Twitter account and tells him, in a very cryptic way, that talking about stalking someone on Twitter isn’t a good idea. Jay has trouble understanding this.

After many videos, some involving harrowing encounters of hitting Tim in the head with things, and a few involving the Operator popping up randomly and looming, Jay spots Alex in the woods at Rosswood Park. He follows him quietly and discreetly, meaning Alex knows he is there the entire time. Alex leads him deeper into the woods, to discover…

Why, it’s the whole cast of Marble Hornets! They’re living in a hippie commune off the abundance of nature, since everything grows in Rosswood Park so well. It turns out the Operator is just a nature spirit trying to get people to stop using technology. Alex was afraid Jay was not going to go along with the plan, and attempted to kill him to save Mother Earth. However, Jay is fine with the idea. Shortly afterward, Tim arrives, and upon discovering their plan, sheds his mask (and his clothes…they’re one with nature there after all) and joins them. Alex explains he really broke Tim’s leg and left him in an abandoned building so Tim could learn to survive without technology. Trucky/Beardy is there as well, and says that he and Alex faked his death to lure Jay in. The series ends with an impromptu singalong about taking care of the Earth.


But seriously I have no idea what’s going to happen. BRING ON SEASON 3.


  1. My guess (I'm the anon in the comments forum) is that season 3 is starting on March 12.

    1. Psh. Your speculation is so boring. But that's what I'm assuming.

  2. Okay, so here's my theory:

    Slender Man does not want to destroy humanity. He lives on human fear, which requires there to be humans in order to be afraid of him. However, in the last few years, Slendy has sensed that another principle is at force in the world. ZALGO! Zalgo will corrupt all all of mankind and bring about the end of the human race, and, incidentally, the end of Slender Man. So the struggle is between someone who wants to keep us alive and harvest our fear, killing some of us every now and then, or someone who wants to kill us all. Sort of like chickens who trust the farmer to protect them from the wolves, even though the farmer is going to eventually wring their necks as well.

    Up until now, SM has relied on the occasional missing child or evisceration to keep a reasonable amount of fear going for him. However, because Zalgo is so incredibly powerful, SM needed to ramp up his strength by spreading his fear as far as possible. To this end, he concocted a plan to appear to a group of college students making a film and scare the daylights out of them so that they could post their videos on the internet and scare the daylights out of millions of people.

    In the last entry, Jay, Alex, and Tim will witness an epic battle between the Operator and the creeping corruption that is Zalgo. Victorious and having no further need for his human assistants, the Operator will turn to the camera in his true form. The camera will drop to the ground, and the last sounds we hear will be the screams of Jay, Alex, and Tim culminating in a series of wet gurgles. Jessica will later find the camera and post the video.

    How's that for a theory? :)

    1. I like my hippie commune idea better. ;-D