Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Whatevah! I do what I want!

Cartman pretty much sums up our society when he says this.

My friend Emily linked to a blog discussing women's swimwear. HOOBOY. There's nothing that gets a good fight going on better than bikinis. And for every person out there that has a sensible reaction, there are always those that respond with "I DO WHAT I WANT!"

Let's look at a few gems from the comments:

"Just because I decide to show off my skin it doesn't mean I'm inviting men to come and stare at me. If a man can't control his mind, then that's not my problem..."

"If a guy is aroused by seeing me walk around in a bikini, as far as I see it, that's his problem."

And my favorite of all:

"What is the difference from your statement above and that of a man who rapes a woman and says, 'well the way she was dressed she was just asking for it'?"

Ha! Good ol' slippery slopes. Great for water slides, bad for logical arguments.

The entire attitude behind all of this is, "Nothing I do has any affect on anyone whatsoever, so I can do whatever I want and if someone else has a problem because of it, then it's completely their fault."

Not only is this a very self-centered viewpoint, it is entirely erroneous. Our actions, even small actions, have a strong effect on others. You may be having a bad day, and answer the cashier shortly. The cashier, in turn, gets a bit snippy with the next customer, who is already miserable over something and is now miserable for the rest of the day. They can't get away from it! What did they do to deserve that treatment? Nothing, but thanks to your, ah, "lack of self control", someone had a horrible day, without even a nice cashier to make them feel slightly better. Does it sound extreme? Perhaps a bit. But it's something that genuinely happens in real life.

And so it is with the way we females dress. When they say "guys are visual" they don't mean "guys like the way women look". They mean "Guys see women with cleavage showing AND THAT IMAGE IS IN THERE FOREVER." God may give them the grace to fight off that image, they may be genuinely godly men that struggle to take control of their thoughts and keep themselves pure, but the fact is, it's still there. So, knowing what men struggle with, we promptly tell them "well keep struggling" as we strut off with our cheeks hanging out, knowing that if our looks cause anyone to stumble, it's entirely their fault because they don't have enough self-control.

My question for the people with this attitude is this: When someone treats them badly (i.e. the cashier), and they get angry and have hateful thoughts, do they blame those hateful thoughts on the people who treated them ill, or on themselves, since they didn't have enough self-control to get rid of the hateful thoughts?

Disclaimer: But really one pieces aren't even much better. It shall be ladies' swim trunks this summer for me.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Dinosaur Lulz

So this is actually a thing. A Tumblr called "Michael Buble being stalked by a Velociraptor".

Bored teens spend their time photoshopping a Velociraptor into Michael Buble pictures. Why? I don't know. But it sure beats the heck out of setting off battery bombs in the bathroom.

It's strangely fascinating and inexplicably hilarious.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Rambling, Ranting Book Review (Sort Of): Size12 is Not Fat by Meg Cabot

One blog I have recently begun to read gave me a very good piece of advice: adults don’t have to finish books they don’t like. And I readily agree with this. Forcing myself through a story I hate with no benefit beyond saying “I read this story” is tantamount to torture. Which is why, more and more, I don’t do it. It’s not from an inability to finish. If I must, I can finish. But motivation counts.

There are some books that surprise people when they find I cannot finish them. Indeed, A Tale of Two Cities nearly put me into slumber before the end of the first chapter. I’ve barely read classics people insist one must read: Steinbeck is intolerable, The Great Gatsby was so annoying I didn’t even read all of the first chapter (although I like Troy Wagner's abridged version), and I just want to punch Victor Hugo in the face. (I did make it through Hunchback, and verily, it was so depressing I had to watch several funny cat videos in a row to make myself feel better.)

Then there are those that surprise some but otherwise cause no comment. Romance novels have this effect; but as I've ranted about those, let us move on to "fluff mysteries". Fluff mysteries are usually part of a series, generally marketed toward women who are uncomfortable with aforementioned romance novels and/or sparkling hellspawn novels for mindless teenage girls. These series either center around a single theme (cats, sewing, baking, fashion, and “stuff”-no,really) or a rather unconventional protagonist.

Heather Wells of Size 12 is Not Fat is an unconventional protagonist. She is a former pop star who has quit the high life to become an assistant in a college dorm. She isn’t a pop star anymore because she…*gasp*…GAINED WEIGHT.

Yes, indeed, and we hear about this through the first three or four chapters, which is about how far I got before calling it quits on Heather and her unhealthy obsession with her own weight.

Not that it’s supposed to be unhealthy. Oh no. Meg Cabot makes it very clear that our chunky protagonist wouldn’t care a jot about her weight if those shallow people all around her weren’t always talking about weight. After all, SIZE 12 IS NOT FAT. So she says, repeatedly, throughout every chapter. We know little about her beyond her weight. We know she MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT THINK SHE IS FAT AT ALL, that she eats enough for three people, and the drunkard wife of the dean is more interesting to read about than she is.

Most unfortunately, Meg Cabot wrote herself into a dilemma. Heather Wells insists size 12 is not fat. She means, according to the first chapter, that size 12 jeans are not fat. Many women (like yours truly) carry more weight in their bottom half, meaning we have big butts and we cannot lie. It’s easy to hit a size 12 without being particularly large in general. The problem we run into is that Heather Wells is constantly eating sugary, high fat food and has apparently gained so much weight that she is almost unrecognizable as the former pop star. Meg Cabot tries desperately to stand up for larger women everywhere, while depicting her large protagonist as eating unhealthily and setting a steady course for a heart attack in a few years, after a drunk resident in her dorm plays a startling Halloween practical joke.

The book is quite obnoxious, even more so because it makes good points that could have been made in a way that wasn’t anvilicious. We know, of course, thanks to What’s-His-Face of Abercrombie fame that we are surrounded by shallow people. But fighting against the shallow people by saying “I’m not fat, I just eat way too much and never do anything except sit on my butt filing paper work and shopping for jeans so I can complain about shallow department store workers!” is practically screaming, “I CAN QUIT WHENEVER I WANT TO”. Cabot didn’t score a hit against the beauty industry-she inadvertently justified it.*

*Annoyingly Necessary Disclaimer: I do not endorse nor approve the beauty industry’s standards, and believe that most models would look substantially happier if they ate bacon every so often.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Saruman Trolls EVERYONE

During my trip to Virginia, we were discussing the Trololo song (no one knows it by any other name at this point) and it was revealed that my brother had never heard Saruman's version. So here it is, Rick. Enjoy.

Why doesn't Blogger let you add tags from YouTube? Ah, well. Life can't be too easy, or the robots will take over.

Monday, May 20, 2013

I Have Returned

It was a nice trip. I do like driving to Virginia. You get to see a lot of interesting things.

Like cars hanging from a guardrail by their back tires. I've yet to figure out how they managed it; but it was West Virginia, so it's probably better not to ask.

It was great to see the county again, especially all the strange people that have moved in and like walking around in the road at night wearing dark clothing. Just like the Quad Cities!

I got to catch up with a lot of people, but I didn't have long. I also got to know my niece and two nephews again, discovered that a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old are better at Wii than I am, heard my 2-year-old nephew use the term "permit", and found that they all appear to have developed something akin to a British accent.

I was also plied with sweet tea and heavy Southern food, no doubt resulting in regaining the ten pounds I had so far lost in attempting to eat healthier.

The trip back, apart from the car hanging precariously from a guardrail, was uneventful.

Completely uneventful.

Okay so it isn't photoshopped and at the time I wasn't so much worried about nonexistent faceless beings as Dale not seeing a turn and driving us off the edge of a mountain. But, you know my blog. Had to include it on principle.

In other news, I passed all my classes, even Music Appreciation after missing a midterm and the final jacking up and not playing any of the songs! YAYYYYY

Saturday, May 11, 2013


It has occurred to me that I might should note that this blog is on hiatus while Madness and Insanity descend upon the apartment. This has probably been obvious, but so much Madness and Insanity has occurred that I've yet to be able to officially declare hiatus, which is kind of like declaring Shenanigans.

ANYWAYS. I had finals this week, so I have been studying, and discovering that for some reason Music Appreciation hates me and me only. (No, really. I went to take my final only to find that the song files would not play for me. For everyone else, yes, but not me. I've yet to figure out why.) I've had the gladness to have my Logic professor tell me I'm "learning" (which is a big compliment from the old hippie). I've realized I have a 12-hour road trip ahead, and a week of my mother Spazzing Out.

So, yeah. I'll be back. With stories, with reviews (of which there are many), and with random pictures.

Also we got an unspoilery screenshot from Marble Hornets.

I...I got nothing.

Speculate over Alex's shoe all you want.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Grumpy Orthodox Cat wishes you all a Blessed Pascha

But seriously, Happy Easter to all the Orthodox out there. Unfortunately next year we do not get to confuse everyone by having Easter five weeks later than everyone else. Alas, alas.

P.S. Hope mysterious fire ritual last night was fun.