Saturday, December 7, 2013

Parody 5, S1, E3: Born to the Purple Show

Episode 3: Born to the Purple Show

Londo is watching dancers, and Sinclair arrives to spoil the party

Sinclair: We have to deal with the Narn treaty.

G’Kar: Or you could totally just give everything up lol.

Londo: Shut up and sit down my girlfriend’s dancing!

They do sit down and a Centauri dancer dances naughtily on stage. Even G’Kar is impressed.

Ko’Dath: I’m here as your aide! So why exactly are we here?

G’Kar: Not watching the hot Centauri chick.

Drunk Guy: Wow Narn women are hot!

Ko’Dath: *throatchokebodytoss*


SECONDARY PLOTPOINT

Computer: Found some someone using the Gold Channel illegally.

Garibaldi: D-:<


TREATY OF GAMEBOY

While everyone waits for Londo to arrive, Vir plays a Gameboy.

G’Kar: WHERE IS LONDO?

Sinclair: Yes Vir where is Londo?

Vir: Idk gotta win Megaman.

Sinclair: NOW.


LONDO’S HAPPY FUN TIME

Londo: Well, that was fun! But look at me, I’m a pitiful old guy.

Adira: Pshaw. I must love you for yourself, because it is dramatic.

Vir: LONDO THERE’S A MEETING.

Best Insult Ever: MOONFACED ASSASSIN OF JOY!

Vir: D-:


C&C

Ivanova: Don’t be so paranoid. It could just be, like, gremlins.

Garibaldi: Like “squeaky green guy following Bugs Bunny around” gremlins?


TREATY OF MEGAMAN

G’Kar: OMG MEGAMAN IS AWESOME!

Londo: Hi G’Kar. Ko’Dath.

Ko’Dath: TOUCH ME AND DIE.

Londo: I feel fine! So, what are we talking about again?


SITH QUARTERS ARE SITH

Trakis: Ohai Adira. So, since you’re my slave and all, got those purple files yet, or do I have to force lightning you?

Adira: Great Maker’s sake, people will realize you’re Clive Revill!

Trakis: I need the purple files of blackmailery. Get it OR ELSE. Here, you can use this horrific mind probe of horror.


DINNER

Talia: So Commander, we’re hanging out on what is totally not a date at all. Also, Londo’s thoughts were…interesting.

Sinclair: I can see why.

FYI Londo and Adira are eating each other faces in the restaurant.


C&C

Garibaldi: So I can’t even find out if there have been people hacking the Gold Channel!

Ivanova: Must’ve been those gremlins. Yeah. Gremlins.


DON’T WORRY THIS HAPPENS TO BOND TOO

Adira: So just go hang out while I fix up these drinks here…without slipping a mickey at all or anything.

Londo: Great!

Drinks are quickly followed by Londo passing out and giving the password via mindprobe. It is “wine women song”, which is really only one step up from “password”.


VIR MOVES UP IN LIFE

Vir: I know you’re trying to call your girlfriend to see why she returned that necklace but…

Londo: Hey you can do the negotiations today! You can represent the Centauri Empire!

Vir: Ooh, I have so many ideas!

Londo: Don’t give away the homeworld. Or any more of our Gameboys.


ZOCALO

Adira: Must…hide…

Dude: Out of my way creeper!

Trakis: NO NO NO YOU WILL DIE!

Dude: Clive Revill? Nooooo!


SILLIEST NEGOTIATIONS EVER

Vir: Hi! Londo isn’t here, so he gave me authority to do this.

G’Kar: WHAT.

Sinclair: Come on, let’s just start.

G’Kar: I’m leaving. Ko’Dath can negotiate.

Ko’Dath: YES! This will be awesome!

G’Kar: Don’t give away the homeworld. Or that Gameboy Vir gave us.

Sinclair: Talia keep them talking. Should be interesting.

Talia: …great. So guys, hear about that haunted Legend of Zelda game?


HALLWAY

Sinclair: LONDO I AM DISAPOINT.

Londo: Yes, I know. I found out my girlfriend stole my blackmail files. YOU’RE MY BFF HELP ME?

Sinclair: Fine, just agree with my compromise for the noodle treaty.

Londo: …whatever. I’m so over the noodles anyways.


ONE’S A MILITARY COMMANDER, THE OTHER’S A DISSIPATED AMBASSADOR. TOGETHER THEY FIGHT CRIME.

Londo is wearing a cloak and Sinclair is dressed like Sherlock Holmes minus the hat.

Bar Owner: Go away.

Sinclair: LAWLZ. So you know Argo, who is not near as cool as you?

Bar Owner: Oh, yeah! Lol he is pathetic. I am so happy you agree that you can talk to these sexy women.

Londo: GIRLS! I have money. Where's Adira?

Random Chick: She’s living with her BFF in Brown 6.


NOT!ZORAK

Trakis: So, you can keep Sinclair and Londo busy?

N’Grath: Oh yeah. I’m thinking of hanging a giant goat head in the Zocalo.

Trakis: …yeah.



TOTALLYAGREMLINGUYS

Ivanova: Heavy gunfire in Brown sector, and I’m still looking for that damn gremlin.

Garibaldi: K…WAIT A MINUTE. Hey, send a team down to the Brown sector. Computer, I need to check something!


GOLD CHANNEL OF ANGST

Ivanova’s Dad: My letla Susan!

Ivanova: …Dad, you know what I said about excessive Russian accents.

Dad: I know. I’m sorry for being a jerk. I’m proud of you, and your epicness.

Ivanova: But you’re epic too Dad!

Dad: *dies*

Ivanova: DO NOT WANT.

Garibaldi: D-:

Audience: D-:


MINDREADING

G’Kar: Hi Trakis. This is our telepath.

Talia: I’m just here to verify stuff, so don’t think about anything, including the whereabouts of Umberto Malzone or Adira Tyree.

Trakis: What.

Talia: Alien Sector 4.

Londo: *facepunchsidekick*

Trakis: OW don’t hurt me don’t hurt me I’m just a sad old man too weak don’t kill me.

Londo: Got my info, time to get my woman. Thanks G’Kar! You saved my career and the Centauri Republic!

G’Kar: WHAT.


C&C

Garibaldi: Uh…hi Ivanova. I tracked the gremlin call. It was just a computer error.

Ivanova: Err…cool. Yeah.

Garibaldi: Wanna go get a drink?

Ivanova: No. Leave me to my angst.


THIS WON’T END BADLY AT ALL

Londo: Back to Davo, then? You’ll get to see Starlaces! And don’t worry your pretty little head about anything. Trakis was convinced *coughSinclairthreatcough* to free you.

Adira: Wonderful! And now I must go.

Londo: Or you could stay with me.

Adira: But it will make for awkwardness.

Londo: True. But here, have this brooch again and come back and visit when you are in the least danger of being poisoned by an excessively hairgelled guy.

Audience: *facepalm*

No comments:

Post a Comment