I was at the library, as usual, working on projects which have absolutely no connection whatsoever to secret societies. It was mid-day, and the sun was shining. In fact, it was blinding me. Isn’t it odd, how the brightest moments in our lives lead to our darkest hours? It reminds me of a dreadful book I came across while working well apart from any secret societies. I saw the book in our beautiful new catalog, titled When Did You See Her Last? I suspected this was going to be something dreadful, yet I clicked on it anyways, and typed in my card number, and ordered it in. I included a note: “There is a hole in the bucket, dear Liza. How do I fetch water?” This was a joke, and not at all a secret message for anyone.
When the book arrived, its cover was as frightening as I expected. A note was attached: “WHY WOULD YOU READ THIS BOOK? TELL NO ONE.”
Naturally, I read the book and decided the best way to keep it secret was to post it on my blog.
I was right about how dreadful it was. It was, in fact, the next in the infamous Mr. Snicket’s chronicles of his miserable apprenticeship in the VFD, which is a secret society that I have no connections to at all. A girl has run away from home. Her car is left on the side of the road and hides stolen melons. No one seems to care, except about the melons. S. Theodora Markson’s hair is still questionably unpleasant. Taxi drivers won’t charge you as long as you tell them about a good book. It does not work this way here.
The tale is quirky, as well as tense and occasionally amusing. The mystery behind the enigmatic villain Hangfire deepens. If there is one thing I learned from Mr. Snicket’s horrible tale, it is this: we are all in very great danger.