Sunday, February 23, 2014

Ragnarok!

So, in case you guys weren't aware, Ragnarok happened yesterday.

It was okay. Apparently Heimdall (that black guy from Thor, remember?) blew his horn last year, but no one noticed because everyone was too busy complaining about how the world didn't end the year before.

So there I was, sitting in my house, trying to write up an interesting story to post on this blog, when suddenly, Ygdrassil started shaking. I mean, I think it was Ygdrassil. It may have been a train going by, I'm really not sure.

Then some giants showed up. Or they could have been the Hawkeyes football team. I don't really know much about these things. They started playing "Ride of the Valkyries". That was tasteful.

A lot of really bad things happened. Odin was eaten by a wolf. I heard some people whining about how wolves were coming back. They didn't seem to notice the giants. Thor killed that snake from Anaconda.

Then a lot of strange things happened. The sun vanished for a bit, but then it came back. Also Loki showed up in that ridiculous-looking hat of his, and everyone pointed and laughed. It was pretty funny.

So apparently this is a new age. Nothing has really changed, and Nidhoggr even helpfully took away all the corpses. He went to space, or something. There seems to be more beer. At least, the leftover gods gathering at the bar drinking and talking about what just happened seems to indicate the abundance of beer.

I was hoping we'd all have cool new hairstyles, but that hasn't happened either. Really, this was all very anticlimactic. I'm hoping the next apocalypse is more fun.

Warning: Contains swear words, nonsense.

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