Varn: Help me, fully engaged viewer! You're my only hope!
Londo: Garibaldi...I'm pregnant.
Garibaldi: Quit drinking, Londo.
Takashi: There's...something on the wing! Some! Thing!
Psi-Corps: Garibaldi knows our secrets, does he?
Talia: What do we do?
Psi-Corps: It's simple. WE KILL THE BATMAN.
Draal: Tell me, Delenn. Is the hokey-pokey...really what it's all about?
AND NOW...THE CONCLUSION.
So the big ship arrives. It turns out to be an Earthforce Heavy Cruiser captained by Not!Samuel L. Jackson.
Pierce: We get to deal with the planet now so there.
Garibaldi: Wait, what?
THAT ROOM THAT IS USED FOR MILITARY CONFERENCES AND BIRTHDAY PARTIES
Pierce: Sounds like Epsilon 3 is pretty bad-ass. And you know everyone’s gonna be fighting over that planet. So we’re here to keep them from taking it. It’s gonna be bad.
Sinclair: Yeah, you just told everyone it was important by showing up in the first place.
Pierce: How’s our prisoner?
Sinclair: The PATIENT is not doing so well. And if you recall this is kind of a diplomatic place. Now GTFO.
THE LIVING DEFINITION OF DIGGING YOURSELF DEEPER
ISN: Troops are dealing with the Mars issue.
Dude: I don’t like people on Mars.
Dude: I mean, Mars. Right?
Garibaldi: Whatever dude.
Dude: I mean, Marvin the Martian. Who roots for Marvin the Martian?
Garibaldi: No one cares, man.
Dude: They can gas them and punch them and nuke them! I’m sure there’s no one anyone loves on Mars, because SCREW MARS.
Garibaldi: I WILL SHOVE YOUR HEAD THROUGH THE COUNTER!
OH LOOK, ANOTHER DIRE SITUATION
Ivanova: So basically we’ve got about two days before we die.
Garibaldi: And it’ll take five days to evacuate.
Ivanova: And Pierce wants to go down there again. Which was what made it worse before.
Sinclair: And there’s no one down there to make it stop.
Ivanova: So we’re screwed any which way.
YEAH, YEAH STAR WARS REFERENCE, ETC.
Old Alien Guy Voice: Draal…need help…you’re my only hope…
Draal: Whoa. That was weird. I think it came from down this way.
INFORMATION THAT COULD HAVE BEEN USED HOURS AGO
Draal: There he is. We’re going in.
Franklin: Hey, what the…you can’t…
Draal: He was talking to me.
Old Alien Guy: No…my money…Draal, there you are! Don’t go to that planet or it’ll explode.
Ivanova: So yeah, we can’t go to the planet, but Pierce, despite being told about this, wants to go down there anyways.
Pierce: I bet that guy is lying! My experts say it’ll be fine.
Sinclair: Why are the experts always saying stupid things? Anyways, if you try to go down there, I will shoot you. Seriously. Otherwise we all blow up.
Pierce: What. FINE.
Suddenly, another ship arrives! With those bright annoying halogen headlights.
Jerk Alien: So we’ve been looking for this planet for like 500 years, and now we found it. I KEEP IT NOW. Also you get ten hours to move.
Pierce: Oh yeah? The planet is ours. So there! And you only get nine hours so there!
Ivanova: They’re both pretty.
Old Alien Guy: We told those guys where to shove it. And then I took care of the planet after the others died. The Machine and me? We’re BFFs.
Franklin: So why haven’t you talked to us?
Old Alien Guy: Plot Secrets. But you have to stop the Greater Jerks of my race.
Sinclair: But the planet is imploding.
Old Alien Guy: Cause there’s no one in there!
Franklin: I think he’s been dying for a while, that’s why the earthquakes started.
Londo: He popped up in front of me too.
Delenn: Odd choices of people to troll.
Draal: We understand self-sacrifice more than others. You could do this.
Londo: I know! I’m just that epic.
Delenn: You know what this means, right?
Londo: Someone ain’t coming back. I’ve always had vague dreams of dying doing something epic. As opposed to the very specific dreams of being murdered by G'Kar.
Garibaldi: Dude, someone grabbed the patient and ran.
Evil Alien Guy: WE TOLD YOU NOT TO SEND SHIPS.
Ivanova: Freaking spaz. But that ship is going to the planet.
Pierce: LET’S DO THIS, BITCH.
Sinclair: Damn straight.
Garibaldi: I’m going after that shuttle.
Ivanova: Whoever’s in charge of that shuttle is crazy.
MR. TOAD FLIES A SPACESHIP
Pilot!Londo: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!
Delenn: Just don’t look out…don’t look out…
PLANET OF AWESOME
Garibaldi: What is this I don’t even.
Londo: We’re trying to keep the planet from exploding.
Varn: I made an air pocket so you can breathe!
Delenn: See, someone needs to be in the machine.
Draal: And I’m doing it. It’ll be awesome, trust me.
Suddenly, a very literal Deus Ex Machina takes over the ships.
Draal: The planet doesn’t belong to you guys. Sinclair, don’t tell anyone about this. We let
5 take care of it and not let anyone meddle with it until the plot demands. And
if anyone tries to meddle with it before then I WILL END THEM. See you next
Corwin: The idiots are still trying to take the planet.
Jerk Aliens: *die*
FYI Draal looks rather happy in the Machine
WELL THAT SUCKS
Sinclair: So Lise is wounded but she’ll be okay. Here she is.
Garibaldi: I’m sorry for screwing up I should have stayed and I love you and I will come to Mars and…
Lise: I’m married to a guy named Franz.
Garibaldi: Franz? Seriously?
WHAT IS THIS, THE ASTRONOMY TOWER?
Delenn: Staring soulfully at stars, are you?
Garibaldi: Yep. So why didn’t you tell us about Varn?
Delenn: Because Sinclair probably would have done it. And he’s needed for later plotpoints. Plus, Londo had some fun. G’night Draal.
Draal: Good night John Boy.
Sinclair: Night Grandpa.
Londo: Night Vir.
Garibaldi: All of you shut up!