Thursday, December 8, 2016

X-Files: S1, E9: Space

Today, the world mourns John Glenn, the first American to orbit Earth. There is also something to be said for a person who goes "I'm 77, and I'm going to space." You go Glenn!



That said, it seems appropriate then to resume my X-Files reviews, and with the very appropriate "Space", in which an astronaut is possessed by that goofy not-face from Mars.

In 1977, they found water on Mars. Insert your own Doctor Who joke here.

Lieutenant Colonel Belt is having some flashbacks to being In Space, especially as he ran into the Mars face during a spacewalk. Meanwhile, Mulder and Scully are investigating possible sabotage at NASA. Someone doesn't want people going to space, and we're assuming its aliens, even though they seem to have no problem hanging around Earth, pretending like they pay rent. 

I Googled "Why don't aliens pay rent for air space". Was not disappointed.

They hang out with the Obviously Sketchy Belt, and the launch goes fine, but then they lose contact with the astronauts. I mean, it is starting to sound like a Doctor Who episode, but unfortunately the Doctor does not show up, nor does he try to fit himself and two other people into a very tiny space shuttle. Also, now Michelle Generoo, communications commander, is seeing an alien face. Belt makes decisions that everyone thinks are bad, but actually sound like decent ideas, but he's bad because this is the program's "last chance". Granted, we haven't been too interested in our space programs lately, but still. It wasn't like NASA was going to call it quits over one bad mission. I mean, one got exploded and they kept on going.

Speaking of, Belt is rapidly coming under suspicion. He was at that explodey episode as well, along with some other problematic events. When he goes to sleep that night, the alien ghost that is possessing him flies to space to troll the astronauts up there. Which causes an oxygen leak. What a jerk.

Anyways, he commits suicide to stop the alien entity from continuing to sabotage missions, which doesn't make sense, as it could probably just possess someone else. 

So that was it. An episode about...a space ghost.

MEANWHILE ON X-FILES


Saturday, December 3, 2016

Update and Book Review: The Obsidian Chamber by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child

Hey look! I'm a little tired of politics. I said my piece, I changed exactly 0 people's minds about politics, welcome to the Internet, this happens all the time.

So, let's just move on, shall we? I'm eager to get back to reviewing entertainment that temporarily distracts us from our troubles.

LAST TIME ON PENDERGAST

There were witches in Innsmouth Exmouth. Monsters were set loose. Constance tried to make out with Pendergast, which ended about as well as everyone expected it to. Pendergast died. Again. Readers began to wonder if the real mind behind the Pendergast series was Steven Moffat.

Also Diogenes came back to life.

Readers began to wonder if--

ANYWAYS

No, Diogenes didn't "come back to life". He just landed on a convenient ledge and crawled back out. How? I...

Umm...

Moving on.

Diogenes has come to the conclusion that he is in fact in love with Constance, and suddenly the book turns into a Gothic romance, complete with a secluded island. Also, supposedly, the arcanum backfires if someone stops taking it, and Diogenes is Constance's only hope. Why did she just now starts suffering from it? We're not sure.

Diogenes has a psychotic female assistant who is not, in fact, Harley Quinn, because if she was then we would actually like her. Said female assistant has, predictably, fallen in love with Diogenes. Confusion ensues.

Meanwhile, PROCTOR IS ON A HIGH SPEED CHASE THROUGH THE DESERT TO FIND CONSTANCE AND HE FIGHTS OFF TWO LIONS ALL BY HIS LONESOME BUT WE DON'T SEE THAT BECAUSE BOOOOOOOOOO

I have strong feelings about not seeing Proctor's epic fight against lions.

Pendergast is not dead. Of course. Instead, he has been rescued by drug runners, who are holding him hostage on the boat and being Obviously Evil. They try to ransom him back to the FBI, which is divided between The Old Guys Who Implicitly Trust Pendergast's Wacky Ways and the Young Hotshot Who Isn't As Smart As He Thinks He Is. Where Mulder and Scully fall on this divide can be inferred.

This review has been a lot more sarcastic than I intended. I mean, it was a fun book, but I felt there was something slightly off. It's almost like the Gentlemen were like, "Hey, look at all these wacky theories by the Diogenes fangirls. Let's write them" and then it happened. The concept itself isn't bad, but I felt like Diogenes feelings came out of left field, and there was little focus on either Pendergast or Proctor's amazing ability to fight off two lions at once. (I'm not letting that go.) We get a little bit of Pendergast Pendergasting around, but that doesn't last long.

And what the hell happened to Tristram? You know, HIS SON? THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BACK? This kid started a rebellion at the age of, like, 15, after being locked in a basement for most of his life. WE REALLY NEED MORE ABOUT HIM.

That said, I'm interested to see where this particular arc point is going. And I'm happy to hear that the next book is going to be a classic Pendergast/D'Agosta team-up.